by Frank Rossi
I don't vote.
There. Now all the self-righteous voters out there can chastise me for being un-American, etc. But I don't care.
No, I'm not protesting anything by not voting.
No, I'm not lazy.
No, I'm not waiting for fellow Italian Mario Cuomo to throw his hat in (like there's a chance of that).
I don't vote for one reason: Ever since I've been eligible to vote, there hasn't been anyone I support for president. I refuse to use my vote for anything except support, and George Bush, Michael Dukakis and Bill Clinton didn't speak to my needs for reasons with which I won't bore you.
However, this election year, I find myself reconsidering my voting paradigm in light of the rising popularity and power of demagogues like Newt Gingrich and Pat Buchanan. Sure, Bill and Hillary Clinton are bald-faced liars, but at least we know what to expect, and we don't have to worry about secret police banging on our doors at midnight to take us away.
Heck, I'd vote for megalomaniacal mouse Brain, with Pinky as a running mate (and they tried this, too), just to keep Pat, the Fuhrer, from the White House (which I'm sure he'd never accept as any other color).
Why so cynical? I'm a "Reagan Child." Gather around, kiddies -- it's time for a bedtime story:
Once upon a time, there was a king named Ronald who ruled the land. His subjects followed him blindly, like little mice.
He spoke tough, and his queen, Nancy, was even tougher. Known for his valor against the Soviet Kingdom, which he called an "evil empire," he captured the hearts and minds of the masses. And by using deficit spending, he was able to make Americans think we were loaded.
Unfortunately, the truth was we WERE loaded -- with debt. In 1989, his reign ended as his scepter was handed to his faithful knight, Sir Bush-a-rot, who reigned until he was overthrown by the dashing William the Philanderer, our current sire. The End.
Boy, was I fooled. I use to think Reagan was the epitome of strength, an elder uncle who will take care of us. Ah yes, a BMW in every driveway and MTV on every tube.
Then I got to college and learned the truth.
Companies won't be taking care of workers anymore, like in the `80s. (I can blame baby boomers for their yuppified damage to the economy through junk bonds and failed S&Ls, but that's another column.)
Shareholders and Wall Street demand top value for stock, so layoffs are the soup de jour.
And don't count on all those juicy benefits, either. Got cancer? Tough. You'll be shipped to the cheapest hospital, not M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. So what if you've worked at the firm for 30 years -- we have to cut corners, or else the shareholders and the board of directors will be very unhappy.
So, until a candidate has the guts to call for an end to corporate blood baths and a beginning to respect for the American worker, I won't vote, even at the local level.
Rossi is an alumnus
without a voice on Capitol Hill.