by Jesse Handy
Well, kids, this is officially the last column of the semester, and all have asked me, "Will you be back?" Summer: No. Fall: Probably.
This is the column where I thank all who made the semester memorable and stopped me from going postal.
First, I want to thank the Jamaican Mafia (Shawn and Mario) and the Benneton ad from hell I call my friends at the Satellite, including Joy, Tony and las hermanas, Ortiz and Sam "I am."
Special thanks go to the crew at Coog's Cafe for making the definitive grilled chicken sandwich. I have to thank the Black Russian, her homegirl Chris and everyone in UH Human Resources. (Hi, Karen.)
While I'm in a thankful mood, I have to thank Moya (we love her accent) Luckett, for reminding me why I chose my given major. If all profs were like her, this place would be known for its school spirit.
I can't thank Moya without thanking her Tuesday-Thursday TV-2 class, including (but not limited to) the Balzer Twins of the group Apex, their curvy blond friend Heather and, yes, you too, Brad. I have to thank Ryan (The Ryan King) Carssow for being loud, overbearing, obnoxious and generally one of the finest human beings I know.
Absolutely everyone at The Daily Cougar from the business office and advertising to the newsroom and editorial staff. Dominique Sacshe for not only being a good sport about the whole "Houston's Sexiest News Anchor" Handy Award, but also for asking for a copy of the aforementioned award column. To paraphrase comedian Chris Rock, she's got it going on, the full lips, the green eyes, all that red hair, I know it's real, it's gotta be real. I just wanna roll with ya! How can I be down? (Just kidding, Dom.)
I have to thank Jack Ivancevich for not giving up either his housing or transportation allowance, but still telling us the university spends too much and passing it on to us in a fee increase. Thanks, pal, your compassion and understanding are underwhelming.
I want to thank Khoi (buy the man a beer, he's outta here!) Nguyen of the Vietnamese Catholic Students association. Good luck, dude. I have to give a pat on the back to all at the Physical Plant. They work for a living and keep this place going.
I have to thank all the frats, sororities, alumni groups, student and employee organizations and athletes who gave me a deeper appreciation for barbecue and beer at Frontier Fiesta.
Special thanks go to Tamara Lo. No, she didn't do anything, but the woman is an awe-inspiring, brainy goddess. I have to thank former gal pal Janet, "The voluptuous Viet-Vixen," for reminding me that what we write has to have strong emotion either in it or behind it to make sense to us or to anyone else.
I have to thank my mom and family for being there when I needed them.
Finally, I have to thank the most important people, you the readers. Whether you agreed or disagreed with me, you were never shy about giving me your point of view.
Handy is a senior RTV
major who's officially on vacation