Jason Ginsburg |
I found out I have to take two cultural heritage courses, so, being a Texan, I figured I wanted to learn about Texas culture. I told my counselor I wanted to take classes in livestock management, oil drilling, football, barbecue and marksmanship. She told me I'd have to transfer to Texas A&M.
Everyone on Earth loves American culture. Five billion people gobble up our pop music, blockbuster movies, fashion trends and satellite signals. I don't know about you, but I'm building an ark.
For some strange reason, half the people I meet on campus for the first time think I'm blind. But that's not so bad, considering that the other half think I'm a jerk.
Squirrels can't stomach Taco Bell. I fed one a piece of a beef burrito and it puked, rolled under a tree and died. The squirrels don't have the survival abilities humans do. This is why we rule the world while they remain but serfs, begging for food at our feet.
If pro wrestling, arena football and hunting are sports, why can't I take them for PE credit? I thought I could place out of auto racing by driving to school, but UH can't afford the insurance for contact sports. Maybe I can get a cross country credit for walking from my parking space to my classes.
Fabian Vaksman is not a real person. The Daily Cougar staff just made him up to increase circulation, like the basketball team.
When the city shut down the Highway 59 exit to I-45, they set up a detour that takes me right past Drexler's BBQ. Now I keep missing my afternoon classes for some reason.
Studying Supreme Court cases isn't nearly as boring as one might think. Here are some interesting examples that I found in the justices' opinions:
"People who go about in the nude in public may be expressing something about themselves by doing so."
"... unclothed purveyors of hot dogs and machine tools ...
"The purpose of Indiana's nudity law would be violated if 60,000 fully consenting adults crowded into the Hoosierdome to display their genitals to one another ...
"... sadomasochism, cockfighting, bestiality, suicide, drug use, prostitution and sodomy.
"... the performances in the Kitty Kat Lounge may not be high art ...
"... 60,000 Hoosiers would be perfectly free to drive to their respective houses all across Indiana and, once there, to parade around, cavort and revel in the nude for hours in front of relatives and friends."
And all of that comes from just one case!
There are three national broadcasting philosophies: media as entertainment, media as educator and the Warner Brothers Network, which is neither.
A few billion years from now, the sun will begin its death cycle, slowly expanding into a red giant. This expansion will reach Earth's orbit, eventually burning away all life and engulfing the world in solar fire. And people will still be talking about Frontier Fiesta.
This is the first semester I've had where my editor didn't threaten to fire me. I think I must be slipping ...
Ginsburg is a senior political
science major.