Pediatricians prescribe marijuana to newborns every day in California, and infants are given joints instead of pacifiers to suck on whenever they start to cry. Children diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder are given reefer instead of Ritalin, the reason being that it won't help them learn but at least it'll keep them still. Expectant mothers toke every morning to help with morning sickness. And Alzheimer's victims are counseled to get high by medical practitioners to help the old folks forget that they can't remember anything.
Ever since Proposition 215 passed, California has become a vast wasteland of jokers, smokers and midnight tokers. The porn industry has been brought to its knees (literally) by actors too stoned to remember their lines. Every tide brings in countless bodies of surfers who took one puff too many. And it's impossible to drive anywhere, because every time a light turns green, motorists fire up a hoochie.
The war on drugs has hit (pun intended) a serious setback, and the drug warriors aren't happy about it. The Clinton administration, undeterred by such technicalities as the First Amendment, has threatened to revoke the licenses of doctors who prescribe marijuana. Newsweek recently devoted its cover story to Proposition 215 and the havoc it will wreak. Normally intelligent columnists like Charles Krauthammer are jumping on the anti-marijuana bandwagon, unlike so many junkies who are jumping on another wagon to get a fix.
"There are far safer and better drugs" than marijuana for treating glaucoma, cancer, AIDS-related wasting and muscle spasms associated with epilepsy and multiple sclerosis, Krauthammer states.
Really? Dantrium is a "safer" drug, although it causes liver damage. Lioresal is another "safe" drug that can cause hallucinations and seizures. Marinol often leaves users "too blasted to function."
If it's safety you're worried about, few drugs have a better track record than pot, which is directly responsible for zero deaths. Oh yeah, it's a lot cheaper than the aforementioned drugs, too.
Is it that pot helps alleviate the suffering of the terminally ill that's got people so upset? We all know that AIDS is a disease sent by God to punish the fornicators. Who are we to alleviate divinely ordained suffering? I guess cancer victims must have done something wrong too (like have too much fun). We know that "good" people don't get ill.
No, what's really got everyone upset is that California is that much closer to legalization of the drug. "Poll after poll reveals no sign that U.S. voters want to legalize pot," states Newsweek, which apparently forgot that Californians overwhelmingly voted for Proposition 215.
Once dope is legal, everyone who tries it will inevitably go on to become addicted to harder drugs. "Reliable research shows that virtually all heroin and cocaine addicts started out with pot," Newsweek states.
Duh! Doesn't reliable research also show that most cocaine and heroin addicts started out with alcohol and tobacco first?
As a conservative, I believe in states' rights, and if the voters of California want to loosen marijuana laws, who am I to argue? If the Bob Dylan approach to medicine works, great. If it doesn't, then it's just Californians whose brains are fried, and they're so weird anyway, who will notice?
I'm not saying pot is harmless, but given a choice between cannabis smoke and the smoke being blown by anti-drug zealots, I'd take the former. (And, I'm not even sick.)
Pennell is a junior English major.