When I was in middle school, I was constantly bombarded with crushes. I was perennially in love with various boys. Depending on the time of day, one boy was absolutely dreamy, but another would prove positively dreamier three hours later.
Destined to simply worship these non-deserving creatures from afar, I remember vividly my inexperienced philosophy about how I was going to get these boys to notice me.
Like many girls that age, I thought that if I could get a boy to see me often, maybe he too would develop this crippling thing known as puppy love for me. At first, it sounds innocent and simple, doesn't it?
It never worked.
I had not really known what it was like to be the recipient of this methodical attention until I became acquainted with a nice young boy who shared my philosophy all those years ago.
Of course, saying that we became acquainted is really inaccurate.
We never spoke or even shared eye contact. I just saw him everywhere - at school dances, at the mall, and at friends' homes. He would spend all of his time sitting in a corner staring at me.
I felt like a hunter's prey. I felt like he was going to lash out at me at any second, and that would have been the end of me. It became intolerable, to say the least, and it did not end well.
Nothing like that ever does.
As I got older, I was so relieved to have personally out-grown that horrible phase. I was also glad to see that most boys did, too.
It is apparent to me now, however, that each person matures at a very personalized rate - perhaps too personalized. Some people of whom I am very conscious have not yet gotten over this wretched affliction.
It is not simply condensed to only one gender. Boys and girls alike are following each other around like little, mad, rabid dogs on this campus. And, believe me, I am not referring to the slightly flirtatious "coincidences" of spring.
We are talking about stalking here, pure and simple. It is gross. With all of these incredibly juvenile freaks running around, it makes things very difficult for the grown-ups who actually belong here.
I know people who spend most of their time dodging stalkers - people who do not even speak to them, much less have any sort of importance whatsoever in their lives.
What kind of life is that?
Why on earth should a nice person have to suffer simply because someone is afraid of rejection? It is sick.
I would like to propose a collective effort to alleviate this
disgusting state of affairs and ease the minds of many tormented mature students on this campus.
Have any of you ever wondered what it would be like to confront these people? Dare I ask that we all act on that image? Dare I suggest that we, the romantic prey, deserve some solace, some sort of catharsis?
I not only dare to suggest it, I strongly believe it. That leaves only one thing left to be said, boys and girls.
Watch out.
Mahmoudi, a sophomore French and German major, plans on annihilating all walking demons very soon! Share war tactics via e-mail at amahmoud@bayou.uh.edu.