Corin Hoggard Staff Writer
Dread filled Tobin Nelson's bones as his soon-to-be father-in-law held his glass out and stood up at the head of the table.
Just an hour earlier, nerve-racked Nelson had forgotten his vows during his wedding rehearsal - choked at the altar - so he sensed that Jim Hammond, all 6'5" and 270 pounds of him, would at least embarrass, if not ruin, him.
"We are gathered here today to celebrate getting rid of our kids," Hammond said. "I predict a lasting union with much forgetfulness, but also happiness and achievement."
Nelson shouldn't have worried. A simple toast by the father of the bride is the centerpiece of the rehearsal dinner. The timing for the toast is perfect. The dinner is the one wedding event during which the bride's dad can relax knowing that every drink down a guest's throat is not coming straight from his wallet, but from the groom's family instead. What better time to think happy thoughts?
The setting and degree of formality at the dinner depend on the marrying couple. Wedding consultant Karen Brown of Memories in Bloom said that budget constraints will determine how extravagant the dinner can be, but considering that every out-of-town guest is generally invited in addition to the rehearsal participants, they can become rather expensive.
"We try to keep it between $1,500 and $2,500," she said.
Maya Nishikawa didn't want to spend that much for her rehearsal dinner. Because her groom has very little family, she took on the planning and payment for the dinner. So she kept costs low by organizing a barbecue dinner in her father's backyard.
"Instead of paying an eating venue and getting stuck with their caterer, I chose my own catering service," she said. "I saved money and got exactly the food I wanted."
It doesn't hurt that her father's backyard has an Olympic-sized pool and a Jacuzzi.
But not every rehearsal dinner can be carried out from someone's lawn. The usual practice is to gather in a private room at a restaurant near the rehearsal site.
Fashions at the dinner run the gamut. At Nishikawa's dinner, T-shirts and jeans were acceptable, while Nelson's sweat dripped down to his cummerbund when his hulky future father-in-law toasted the couple.
One final thought on the dinner itself: Whether it's kept simple or expanded to the lush, the rehearsal dinner is the groom's last chance to glimpse his bride-to-be before the wedding. Planning to avoid spaghetti might be wise. It leaves nasty stains.