Channel Flirting
Steve Devadanam
Congratulations!
Raise your remote to these TV winners (and losers):
NBC managed to keep details about the final episode secret, so secret that auditioning actors didn't get scripts, they got lines. Everyone knows the episode airs May 14th, but be sure to check Jerry out on The Tonight Show that night. Expect a long, long ovation.
Cable's A&E is also premiering a new adition to its Biography series, on which Seinfeld will be profiled May 11th at 7 p.m. Also check out MTV's Celebrity Death Match, in which a clay Seinfeld and Tim Allen will duke it out May 14th, before The Episode .
Thanks to Him, the other famous Jerry has made an attempt at non-violence, to push out the jive and bring in the love. Who or what sparked that move? Many claim it's a Chicago priest, proving that only God can change TV.
So, producers at Jerry Springer have promised to edit out any violence on the show beginning June 8. For those not familiar with the TV calendar, that's after sweeps. The joke's on us though, because Springer's set to do a movie, too.
Create a cartoon about elementary kids and horny chefs, and you'll make millions! Creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have inked a deal that keeps the construction paper cutouts on cable's Comedy Central through the millennium. An R-rated South Park feature, with Parker directing, will hit screens in the spring of 1999. To think MTV had the chance to land this show (Beavis and Who?). The new season of South Park starts May 20.
He's pissing people off before his show has even aired. Fumed that he's joining CBS, Dr. Laura Schlesinger dropped her talk show negotiations with the network. With any luck, Stern will annoy enough CBS-sters to get Jag dropped, too. Now that's a shock-jock.
The NBC sitcom has reportedly moved to the top of the list as Seinfeld's replacement after big ratings last week, thanks in part to Dana Carvey's guest appearance. Will David Spade, George Segal and Laura San Giacomo have what it takes to make it a "Must See Thursday?" Ah, just shoot them.
Until now, no one has found a way to counter Taco Bell's Cheech Marin-sounding-chihuahua with his "Viva Gorditas," or "A taco revolution, I am there!" Leave it to a cheeky antenna ball from Jack in the Box to tell him off. In the new JitB commercial, a cuter version of the little dog walks up to the antenna ball and claims, "Quiero Taco Bell," to which the ball replies, "So? You're a dog!" Brilliant!
Yes, she's been canned, but she's getting her jabs in on Primetime Live with Diane Sawyer and in her final episode, which airs May 13th. Guests will include Glenn Close, Woody Harrelson, Helen Hunt, Cindy Crawford, Jennifer Aniston, Ted Danson and even more. The episode promises to be satirical and tongue-in-cheek, but don't expect this to be the last you'll see of DeGeneres. She's likely to shop a new series by next year. The final Ellen airs May 13th at 8 p.m. on ABC.
To all my readers (both of you) who've faithfully read my TV drivel for the last two semesters. A nod to my fellow Cougar columnists and staffers, especially to Jesse Handy and Entertainment Editor Joey Guerra, who, like myself, will grace the paper no longer. Thanks for the job, guys. As for the future, I plan to go the way of other TV phenomenon and sell myself to the Lifetime network for syndication. Send comments to BoobToobGy@aol.com.