Jesse Handy
Staff Writer
Review
"Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord"... but since God's a pretty busy guy and can't always work you into his schedule, Mitch Weaver (Saturday Night Live's Norm McDonald) and his best buddy since childhood Sam McKenna (Artie Lange) started Dirty Work, which the film of the same name unfortunately stems from.
This film reminded me of David Lean's Lawrence of Arabia. Not because of the acting or cinematography, but because at several points during the film I wished I'd stayed home and rented the classic film instead of seeing this dud.
The basic gist of the film is this: Mitch and Sam have been best friends since childhood, and now that they're adults, they've discovered that life bites, especially if you're a slacker who can't hold a job.
To complicate the fact that they're perpetually unemployed, they discover that Sam's father, due to an indiscreet (and well-photographed) tête-à-tête with Mitch's mother, is also Mitch's father.
Their father needs a heart transplant, which they hope can be performed by a fumbling doctor (Chevy Chase) who desperately needs the money to pay bookies who seem to have broken a new bone each time we see the good doctor on screen.
While at a movie theater on their 13th job in three months, Mitch and Sam are coaxed to play a vicious practical joke on the theater manager, played by comedian Don Rickles. The men soon realize there's money in revenge and decide that the best way to make 50 grand would be to start Dirty Work.
The guys nearly solve their money problems when a wealthy, sleazy industrialist offers to pay them $50,000 to condemn a building, but all goes awry when he double-crosses them. Not to be outdone, the guys get revenge on him in the midst of a sea of cheap sight gags, anal rape references, animals humping for no apparent reason, an "army of prostitutes" and a really pointless love story involving Mitch and a pretty accountant. Yeah ... that could happen.
If you found McDonald irritating on Saturday Night Live, you'll note that the only difference between SNL's "Weekend Update" and this film is that at no point does he mention Washington, D.C. Mayor Marion Barry smoking crack or former football player/sportscaster O.J. Simpson in the film.
McDonald in this film is like every friend of a friend whom you tolerate because you wouldn't want to offend someone else. His attempts at a charming dry wit were a waste, and there were times when I wanted to reach through the screen and pimp-slap him.
Mad TV veteran Lange, on the other hand, is inspiring, and his performance is yet another example of his borderline genius sense of comic timing. He's almost reminiscent of the late John Belushi in John Landis' Animal House.
Unfortunately Lange's brilliance isn't enough to save this turkey.
Fellow SNL alumnus Chris Farley makes his last cinematic appearance as Jimmy, Mitch's and Sam's loser friend who has a chip on his shoulder from having his nose bitten off by a character whom he (and the credits) refer to as a "Saigon whore."
Former Full House/America's Funniest Home Video star Bob Saget makes his directorial debut with this film. I would tell Saget not to quit his day job were it not for the fact that Full House has been canceled and he was fired from Home Videos and replaced by Daisy Fuentes.
In all fairness to Saget, Stanley Kubrick, David Lean and Frederico Fellini combined couldn't have saved this weak, ill-conceived story. Then again, they would never have agreed to do a story this lame.
In short I wouldn't recommend this film to women, homosexuals, animal rights activists, Southeast Asians or anyone who can tie their own shoes or consume an entire meal using a utensil other than a spoon. Wait for the video and ignore it then, too. Perhaps Rickles put it best during one of the out-takes shown over the film's credits, when he looked at McDonald and said, "How you got this movie I'll never know." That makes two of us, Don.
Rated
PG-13
Running Time
120 min
Playing
Local Theaters