Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr is a boil on America's backside. Lotions and creams won't clear him up. The only way to get rid of him is to lance that sucker.
Brought on to investigate the Whitewater matter, Starr is now interested in finding out if President Clinton is carrying on in the footsteps of his boyhood idol, J.F.K.
Granted, these investigations are grounded on the belief that Clinton may have urged America's sweetheart, Monica Lewinsky, to lie to the grand jury. However, Starr has become so obsessed with delving into Clinton's sex life that he's using tapes that were illegally recorded by Harold, er ... Linda Tripp.
Yeah, I'd trust somebody who records telephone conversations. What? You have tapes detailing an illicit affair between the president and a White House intern? Do I want to hear them? Hell, yeah. Forget about ethics.
Starr's efforts would be almost easy to dismiss considering the president's invulnerability, but that could all change now that he's forcing secret service agents to answer his questions.
Larry Cockell, in fact, will be testifying today. Cockell, up until Thursday, was the head of Clinton's secret service detail. It is believed that what Starr wants to know from Cockell is what he overheard on the ride back from Clinton's deposition. What Starr wants to do is get around the attorney/client privilege.
Clinton may very well have instructed Lewinsky to lie. He may be guilty of having extra-marital affairs. He certainly has bad taste. Clinton, no matter how much Republicans hate saying this, is still the president of the United States of America. He must be protected, if not respected. Starr is making this job increasingly difficult for the secret service, and he's endangering this president's life.
There will be a Republican president ... eventually. Future presidents should not have to worry about whether or not their agents are spying on them. They may even be inclined to distance themselves from those who would protect their lives. If this happens, a president will be assassinated.
Before you Clinton bashers start crossing your fingers, look at the second-in-command. President Gore, rather than candidate Gore, is going to be much harder to defeat in the 2000 election.
The problem with Kenneth Starr is not that he's investigating the president. It's what he's investigating and how he's going about it. He's spent upwards of $40 million of taxpayer money to find out if Clinton's been sleeping around.
If Clinton is brought down, it should not be because of Monica Lewinsky or Paula Jones. Sex should not impeach the president. If anything, it should be China.
I find allegations about selling secrets to the Chinese much more disturbing than whether or not Bill got in the sack with some beret-wearing, big-toothed, big-boned freak.
He is not a perfect president. Far from it, his biggest mark on history may be his record for dodging bullets. If Starr is concerned about Clinton's ethics, he should look at himself first.
De La Garza, a senior English major, loves to ramble
incoherently. E-mail:
edelagar@bayou.uh.edu.