Wandering through a column

Shaun Salnave

Well, folks, it's that time again -- back to sitting through classes ("gee, three hours didn't seem like that long when I signed up for this"), getting up way too early in the morning, whining about parking, test, homework, essays, group projects and too much reading, and signing your soul over to the bookstore to pay for another semester of books you probably don't want to read (I spent $480 this semester) and classes you'll forget everything from a few weeks after they're done. Isn't college great?

Luckily for you, dear reader, I'm back for another semester here to take your mind off of your problems by whining about my own.

I'll start that next week, though, because this week, in the grand Cougar tradition of Opinion writers who don't really have anything to write about, I'm going to give you some beginning-the-semester advice (which you'll probably ignore to your own detriment) from the wise perspective of my fourth (and hopefully last!) year at UH and the grand age of 21. Pay attention: these are pearls, people.

I'm pretty sure you've heard this all before, but as we've all learned, repetition is the key to learning. Or at least that's my excuse.

First, just because you developed calluses last semester taking notes and writing the most brilliant essays of your life, developed a perfect study system (probably involving multiple pots of coffee and/or cans of Red Bull), and managed somehow to pull off some decent grades, don't think you can relax this semester.

That's never a good idea. Right when you start noticing, you'll see that you have three midterms on the same day or something like it. It's not that professors are sadists (well, most of them aren't), it's just that all too many of them don't seem to remember what it was like to read a few hundred pages of boring textbooks after you've been at work for a while.

I think there's actually a class they're all forced to take in grad school something along the lines of "Introduction to university education: forgetting how difficult your undergraduate years could be." They really mean the best (most of them, anyway; there are some sadists apparently left over after all the dentistry positions in the world were filled), but I seem to remember something about good intentions and a road to somewhere unpleasant.

Second, go to class. No, really. Maybe you are one of those lucky few who manage never to go to class and still somehow pass. Sure, it's possible, but it's a lot more work. Take it from me; I've screwed up in class more by missing than I have through not being prepared and my natural stupidity combined.

But enough about academics. You somehow made it back here for another semester (for those just entering this Spring because they were too cool to do it in the Fall, no column for you -- you haven't suffered enough), so I'm assuming you have some clue about what you're doing.

Now we're going to talk about some things that aren't really related to classes and such, although they do have a lot to do with your "college experience."

First, a personal safety note. Though, once again, it's something you've heard a number of times before (not least from The Daily Cougar's own Margaret Mitchell as recently as this Tuesday). The campus squirrels, though they may seem cuddly and cute, are not the innocent friendly fur-balls they appear to be. Every semester, there are a few unfortunate and avoidable fatalities among students who don't take seriously enough these cunning and ferocious animals.

It's not that all of them are evil, you understand -- many of them are as good-natured as they appear. However, as is so often the case in life, a few bad pickles have spoiled the peck. These squirrels, sometimes called the "renegade squirrels" (see John Palamidy's brilliant ongoing exposé in Coogie), though they may look identical to the sweet, friendly variety, are rotten to the core.

Most importantly (clever of me to put this last and make you read the whole thing, wasn't it? Assuming anyone is still reading, that is.), have fun. There are numerous ways to do this; I wouldn't presume to tell you how to do it (although the non-self-destructive varieties are usually those I would recommend).

Just make sure you do have some fun, because getting so caught up in schoolwork that you forget everything else isn't healthy, or good for your academic career. It tends to lead to burnout pretty easily, and that leads to bad grades, incompletes and lots of trying to remember why you came here in the first place. None of this will happen if you remain sane, and remember that, no matter how bad it may seem at times, going to college is certainly better than working for a living.

Salnave, a senior history and English literature 
major, can be reached at ssalnave@mail.com.