Columnist gives one final
thought
Mary B. Carradine
After writing columns for two years, I
always wondered what my final column would be about. In my angry moments,
I envisioned my grand exit. A
conservative reader would pick up the
newspaper and see the headline above my column: "Jesus was a communist."
It would be beautiful. I
would lash out against the capitalistic
religion pushers across campus who have e-mailed me over the past two years
telling me that I'm
unrealistic and I'm definitely going to
hell.
That was the dream for my last column,
until this semester.
I will always be thankful for having such
a wonderful forum at my disposal during college. Writing has forced me
to research — hence I've
learned quite a bit about current events,
politics and history. The opinion column experience has been an absolute
vehicle for my own education.
But more than anything, this forum has
taught me to relax because everyone will never agree with me. Over time
I've digested that realization —
and that's OK.
Whether it be about petty disagreements
or large ones, such as the Middle East conflict, I can seethe and sulk
myself into a headache, yet it
doesn't matter. Everyone will never agree
with me.
Moreover, I could probably count on two
hands the number of other people's opinions I've changed through this column.
An opinion section will
rarely transform anyone's staunch view
into agreement with the writer. At best, opinion columnists will recognize
an issue on which some
people may be undecided, and engulf these
people with new thoughts that will perhaps sway them to the columnist's
side.
However, my column excursions always ran
deeper than wanting to argue people down. There have been many times where
I sat in my parked
car before beginning to traverse our campus,
engine off, music blaring and seat reclined, just thinking about all the
things in the world that
absolutely destroy my spirit. Even more,
I thought of all the things I can never change because too many people
see them a different way. This
sadness would fluctuate back and forth,
exchanging its scenery with apathy and angst almost constantly.
An angst-ridden Mary Carradine dreamed
of informing you that your Jesus Christ was a communist. And now a matured,
peaceful and current
Mary Carradine wants you to believe anything
that helps you sleep at night. The linings of your mind are yours to decorate,
and I have learned to
decorate mine with a resolve for inner
calm.
I may have upset you, and maybe you cursed
my good name for that. But ultimately I care. I care too much. You probably
do too if you have
resorted to filling an opinion columnist's
inbox with e-mails of praise or criticism. But if change ever occurs, we
are the people who will
undoubtedly bring it forth. For whatever
reason, we have been touched with some version of concern. This concern
has absolutely broken me,
and for that I will be forever grateful.
