Sports

How to be a fan in 33 easy steps

Cougar Pause

Max Welles

Itis not easy being a fan of Cougar Athletics these days. With the estimated $10 million deficit and minimal success from the campusi "revenue-generating" sports (Football and Menis Basketball), flashing the oli Cougar Paw with pride is becoming increasingly difficult. 

But help is on the way. Have you ever wanted to be a true Cougar fan, but werenit sure how? 

Or maybe you werenit sure of the history of the program and didn't want to make a fool of yourself? 

Well here's The Daily Cougar's (or at least my) 33 things you should know, or do, to be a true Cougar fan.

1.) Celebrate the lives and careers of Flo Hyman, Wilson Whitley and Dr. Bragg Stockton.

2.) (For the males) Get a group of friends and paint your bare chests "Houston" or "Cougars."

3.) (For the females) Get a group of friends and paint your bare chests "Houston" or "Cougars."

4.) Stay and cheer until the end of a game when the Cougars are getting blown out.

5.) Date a student athlete.

6.) Buy a T-shirt or cap or some piece of clothing from the Cougar Gift Store in the Athletics/Alumni Center.

7.) Embrace the new "fatter" UH logo, but remember the more traditional "thinner" one.

8.) Treat someone that has never been to a UH athletics event to one.

9.) Support the womenis sports, oft-times they perform better than the men.

10.) Learn the words to the UH fight song and alma mater.

11.) Find out why the "Game of the Century" is so important.

12.) Be able to recite the origin of Shasta.

13.) Get into a brawl with a Texas Longhorn fan. Winning preferred, but optional.

14.) Cry when ESPN or some other network shows footage from the 1982 National Championship loss to North Carolina State. Itis also acceptable to cry at the conclusion of the 1979 Cotton Bowl.

15.) Curse the Hall of Fame if it doesnit induct Guy V. Lewis on April 7.

16.) Curse the Hall of Fame for not inducting Lewis earlier.

17.) Trace our mascot roots back to Washington State.

18.) Shout "Point Houston" after every Cougar volleyball score.

19.) Get kicked out of a sporting event for taunting the other team.

20.) Go tailgating and talk to an alumnus.

21.) Do the "Dream Shake" on the basketball court.

22.) Write a post on the fan site message boards.

23.) Have patience.

24.) Read a newspaper during the visitor introductions of a men's basketball game.

25.) Streak through Robertson Stadium with The Trashman (aka Keenan Singleton) if the Cougars are invited to a bowl game this year.

26.) Learn how to diagram a play from Hall of Fame football coach Bill Yeomanis veer playbook.

27.) Thank John and Rebecca Moores for being so generous.

28.) Start a rally for a return of a live mascot to campus.

29.) Name your first-born son Hakeem or Elvin or Carl or if you have a daughter, name her Chandi or Yulia or Jolanda.

30.) Appreciate the foundations built by former track coach Tom Tellez and former golf coach Dave Williams.

31.) Donit read anything Dale Robertson of the Houston Chronicle has to say about UH athletics.

32.) If you have talent, try out for one of the 12 varsity teams on campus.

33.) Read The Daily Cougar Sports section everyday.

So thatis the list. This isn't intended to be end-all, just a starting point. If you have any other suggestions or comments, feel free to e-mail dcsports@mail.uh.edu.

 Send comments to dcsports@mail.uh.edu