Opinion

Papa needs a brand new bag and shoes

Jim McCormick
Opinion Columnist

There have been many interesting developments here on campus, such as the SGA debacle, but I shall refrain from saying much more than the simple fact that the SGA is reaching new levels of entertainment as a sideshow. At least I get my moneyis worth from them.

Anyway, because the insoles in my shoes are shot, I went to the local Target last weekend to get new ones. Unfortunately, my shoes have become less comfortable, as the replacement insoles are slipping around inside and I have nothing to attach them with. Maybe I should just break down and buy some new shoes, or switch to my sandals when I go home this weekend. Who knew that walking about three miles a day could kill a pair of shoes this quickly? Maybe I need to get a bike or a golf cart. Either that, or I need to learn how to hotwire the Cushmans.

Also, I seem to be having an annoying case of writeris block. This is a bad thing because I have a paper due today in Human Situation, and I have about a page and a half written.

Seriously though, Iive begun to realize that I am by no means in control of anything. I seem to be a puppet, doing what other people tell me to do, blindly following orders. And you know what? Itis a whole lot easier to be a puppet than a puppeteer. I know, I have experience in being the person who pulls the strings. In fact, I spent five years doing so, first in the Scouting program, and then again in high school, where I seemed to have a great deal of latitude. Now Iim just receiving orders instead of giving them.

Iive also been doing a bit of reading lately, especially of the philosophical variety, and Iim beginning to think these philosophers either had a delayed adolescence or were psychologically stunted, as they apparently had a bit of teen angst. This wouldnit be disturbing if these werenit middle-aged, balding white guys who should be beyond that. Those guys needed to be on Prozac.

I seem to need a new hobby, and my father, who is a bit of a genealogist, has given me an idea. Through his work, he has dug up some interesting stories about my ancestors and extended family. I already knew that Shakespeare was an uncle of mine by marriage on my motheris side, but my fatheris side is a bit more embarrassing. It seems that Iim related to the last three presidents. Yep. Thatis right. Iim related to both the Bushes and the Clintons. If youid like to know a bit more of your family history, e-mail me. Who knows what you may find? If there is enough interest, I might even start up a genealogy club here on campus.

Now, back to my futile efforts to write a Human Situation paper.

McCormick, a freshman biology major, can be reached at rantman_2000@sbcglobal.net