Opinion

War titles need revamping

Alex Wukman
Opinion Columnist

The war is nearly over and no one has really brought up one of the biggest lingering issues; it seems about time that someone addressed it. In fact, this is an issue that has been hanging around since the last Gulf War. It even showed up in the U.S. involvement in Haiti, Kosovo and Afghanistan. It is the issue of not having a good name for the war.

Operation Iraqi Freedom? How lame is that? Now, it's understandable that President Bush has to have simple names so he can remember what's happening. After all, Operation Iraqi Freedom pretty much tells anyone where the U.S. troops are: Iraq, and what they are supposedly doing there: Freeing the Iraqi people, but it just sounds so boring.

Whatever happened to all the cool names for operations and wars, like the ones they had back in WWII? Names like "Operation Torch," or "Operation Overlord." Those were cool names -- names that would make people proud to tell their grandchildren. They were names that had mystery, excitement, intrigue and passion behind them.

Operation Iraqi Freedom, on the other hand, just sucks. Sadly, this isnit the first awful name the United States imposed on a war. It seems that we have been on a downhill slide since Operation Desert Storm, which, while it wasnit that great of a name, sure beats the hell out of the ones weive had since then. Names like Operation Enduring Freedom, which as we all know is the name for the United Statesi involvement in Afghanistan; or, perhaps the worst name ever for a military action, Operation Restore Democracy, the U.S. involvement in Haiti. 

In the interest of making the 90-hour-a-day news coverage a little more interesting, we should suggest some more interesting war names. Names that grab the attention of the populace; names that look cool on the directoris cut DVD box set of the war. Donit fool yourself; you know that thereis going to be one. Which gets us right back to the problem of a name for the war.

Honestly, who wants to have a DVD box named "Operation Iraqi Freedom"? Nobody, because itis such a bad title; why not change it to something more upbeat and catchy? Something with a little more zest, zing and pizzazz.

Something like "Operation Falcon Dagger." Yeah, thatill work. You have to admit that Operation Falcon Dagger is a much more interesting name for a war than Operation Iraqi Freedom. It just leaps off the page at you; it makes you want to ask, "Hey whatis that all about?"

Itis the type of name that makes you want to go out and buy the box set with the 85 hours of unseen footage and audio commentary from General Tommy Franks, Saddam Hussein, George W. Bush and Donald Rumsfeld. Itis the type of name someone can tell their grandkids they were associated with and have the grandkids give them a respect filled "cool." As opposed to Operation Iraqi Freedom, which will just inspire a comatose non-reaction.

Unless of course President Bush is going for the comatose non-reaction, which he very well may be; if that is the case then President Bush is accomplishing his goal. After all, the start of major league baseball is a much bigger story than the war right now.

But it doesnit make any sense to go to all the trouble of planning and starting a war if itis only going to be around for three weeks. How is that going to help Bush win in 2004? Thatis the reason for this war nonsense -- to insure that Bush gets re-elected despite a horrible economy, massive layoffs and a skyrocketing national debt.

True, the American publicis attention span, which has been rendered gnat-like due to years of MTVis 30-cuts-a minute, causes people to lose interest in things after two weeks, but this can be combated with a cooler name and a more media-savvy war. Things just need to be changed up a little; get a better director in there and bam, We got ourselves a whole new war and we can call it something cool, something hip, something with a little street behind it, something like: Operation Falcon Dagger

Wukman, a junior English major, can be reached at alex_wukman@hotmail.com.