Opinion

A nation's values diminished

Tom Carpenter
Opinion Columnist

The semester fades with each word, but what a semester it's been.

Chaos reigns among the people of Iraq, but the oil fields remain safe in American hands while Osama bin Laden plays hide-and-seek.

The Iraqi infrastructure lies in a smoldering heap of rubble, but the Oil Ministry building miraculously remained intact through thousands of coalition assaults.

But as we've been told so many times, the war in Iraq was never about oil. 

In a related development, the Dixie Chicks learned that unpopular political statements exact a steep price unless you're an opinion writer for The Daily Cougar. 

After an infuriated public snapped its checkbooks shut because of Natalie Maines' remarks, the all-girl band quickly retreated to the bastion of show-biz tactics that every Hollywood pervert, child molester and wife killer employs to recover lost earnings: They bared their souls, and a few other body parts, in public and called it artistic expression instead of blatant exposure for profits. 

"It's not about the nakedness," Martie Maguire said in an interview with Entertainment Weekly, the magazine that will feature the Chicks naked on its cover.

Right. If you believe that, you'll believe O.J. Simpson relentlessly searches for the real killer of his wife Nicole and her friend Ronald Goldman.

Speaking of the man who was tried and acquitted of murder after the 1994 slayings, a mind-blowing rumor has surfaced that, if true, would indicate new depths of tastelessness in television entertainment.

"Scissorhands" Simpson may get his own "reality-based" television show, The Associated Press reported Sunday. 

What a dilemma for the producers: Do they open with O.J. in his Heisman Trophy pose, or with him holding his wife's head in his hand?

Does it surprise anyone that in the past 25 years Congress wrote hot checks against the War on Poverty, made law-enforcement a profit-generating business in the War on Drugs, expunged the Founding Fathers' ideals of the Great Society and meekly surrendered the obligation to hold an honest presidential election? 

Emulating their role models, corporate executives, financial institutions, drug manufacturers and insurance companies plunder the public purse with wild aplomb because the ignoble desires of powerful men need satisfying.

Why don't we put a camera in Charlie Manson's prison cell so we can watch him smoke crack, drink prison-made rotgut whiskey and sodomize young men in his maximum-security solitary cell?

The Dixie Chicks could open this made-for-TV special by singing "God Bless America" with nifty jailhouse slogans like, "Don't drop the soap" painted on their naked bodies.

The Juice, tied to a dolly and wearing a Hannibal Lector mask, could call the play-by-play as Manson overpowers and rapes a young man incarcerated for possession of marijuana.

Geraldo Rivera, the "embedded" media representative, could provide an up-close and personal interview of Manson during the sexual assault, giving "embedded reporting" a new meaning. 

Skyrocketing network ratings would create a flurry of spin-off shows, the economy would take off, and peace and prosperity would be ubiquitous to every nation.

The Iraqi war isn't about oil and the Dixie Chicksi nudity isn't about money. O.J. Simpson's reality show is based on the public's entertainment values. Charlie Manson's prison "villa" represents the best in maximum security our prison system has to offer and the laws of the land prove the War on Drugs is effective and fair.

As philanderer, dead-beat dad and check-bouncer Newt Gingrich says on his website, "We … are role models. People all over the world watch us and study us. When we fall short, they lose hope. When we fail, they despair."

That might explain the ungrateful Iraqis and Afghanis, the whining Dixie Chicks, a beaming Charlie Manson and a smug O.J. Simpson.

Carpenter, a college of education student, can be reached via dccampus@mail.uh.edu.