Opinion


Take blind dates a bit further

Samira Zaidi
Opinion Columnist

Imagine deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone you had just met — only you never found this person, someone else did.

You might think this sounds like another episode of Blind Date and a successful one at that. But this deals with the not so common topic of arranged marriages.

These marriages have a 97 percent success rate, whereas love marriages have about a 50 percent success rate. Nowadays, nearly one in ten love marriages ends before five years.

When I recently was discussing the topic with a few people, the idea stunned them. How could an arranged relationship last?

Well I know many friends who were set up in the arranged circuit and my parents, who were arranged, are going on 24 years.

Personally I had to deal with this issue last January when my parents sat me down to talk to me about a marriage proposal they had received for me.

In Pakistani and other Asian cultures, the guyis family proposes to the girlis family for her hand in marriage. Although itis not as breathtaking as a guy poised on one knee popping the question, it definitely has its perks.

For one, as a girl you never have to deal with scumbags approaching you, and your parents get to take part in their own covert investigative operation as they try to find out everything about the guy and his family.

Another thing is that you donit have to deal with the pressure of trying to find a spouse because your family is involved. So its not a priority and you donit always have your parents nagging you about finding Mr. or Mrs. Right.

Now when I was in this situation, it was a little hard for me to comprehend because I had been born and raised here where an arranged marriage was and still is unheard of.

After my parents discussed this proposal with me, I told my parents that I wouldnit make any decision unless I talked to this guy.

Now Islamically, the girl and the guy have the final say in making a decision to marry someone and without their consent a marriage is considered null and void.

But culturally speaking, the girl and guy getting arranged hardly have this right. A girl is just supposed to smile and nod at her parentsi decision.

Granted your parents really donit want to set you up with a Dr. Jekyll, but essentially you will be spending the rest of your life with this person and should have the opportunity to get to know them.

So I got to know my future fiancé and we saw eye-to-eye on almost everything. Iim able to concentrate on finishing school while we still keep in contact.

Arranged marriages, for the most part, have a family in mind, so there is a strong sense of commitment to making it work.

In an arranged relationship, every day is a new adventure. At first, you like each other and learn to fall in love. In the Western world, itis sort of like getting engaged and then dating.

Also in Islamic culture, couples do not live together before marriage and recent studies have showed that 46 percent of couples, who live together before marriage, end up in divorce.

To all those still unsuccessfully searching for their life partner: Do you mind making an arrangement?

Zaidi, a senior communication major, can be reached at greeneggs34@hotmail.com.