Opinion
 

Listening is key to a good start

Zach Lee
Opinion Columnist

I was amazed by the amount of e-mail I received in response to last week's column (I've been too busy to reply to most of them). Apparently, I was right -- a lot of us are more than ready to drop our masks and share our true selves with the world. That, of course, is only half the battle.

A pride parade without an audience is like Santa Claus without little kids. It doesn't exist. The same concept applies to each of our coming-out stories. In fact, that's the whole point of coming out. By telling the world our secrets, we aren't changing ourselves. We aren't changing the way we look at the world, and we certainly aren't changing the way we feel. While we all hope the world will continue to accept us, we don't come out to be accepted. We come out to be seen for who we really are. Someone has to listen.

When we were little, it may have been enough to explain a secret feeling to a stuffed animal, but we're not little anymore. Societal norms, expectations of friends and the normal stress of growing up complicate things to the point that we need more comfort than what black button eyes can provide.

Having someone to listen as we admit our differences is just as important as the differences are themselves. The listeners may support us, and they may despise us. But as long as they really listen, they acknowledge us. That's why I'm so reluctant to print my big secrets in The Daily Cougar. While it may provide me with a temporary relief to believe that my secrets have been heard by more than 30,000 people, I understand reality doesn't work like that.

I realize few people who read this newspaper care about my life. We're college students. We all want to save the world, but most of us are too busy juggling a part-time job and struggling with GPAs to take an interest in one lousy opinion writer. Some of those who do care have already e-mailed me, and as I struggle to come up with the right responses, I'm grateful for their concern.

Once again, I'm a poor college student. All I have to offer is me. I'll share my secrets and listen to yours. If e-mail isn't personal enough, I'll try to make some time, and we can talk over coffee or fast food. Just remember that we're all freaks, and that's a good thing. I'm just offering myself as a listener. I figure I've been writing for the Cougar long enough for readers to know just a bit about my personality, so it's better than talking to a complete stranger.

Not only are you different, but so are the people around you. The second part of being comfortable with our own uniqueness is being comfortable with the uniqueness of others. We have to listen to our friends and family if we expect them to listen to us. They have just as many secrets as we do. I'll listen to your secrets if you want to tell me, but as a whole, the best way to make our statement is to stop and listen.

Lee, sophomore English major, 
can be reached at aliquidsoldier@hotmail.com.