Opinion

Hints for commuting cougars

Shaun Salnave
Opinion Editor

Today, for all those of you who've complained about parking recently, I'd like to review a few techniques you may be unaware of that can easily help make the parking situation far more pleasant.

First, you should keep in mind the times that the parking lots are busiest. If you avoid parking during these times, you may be able to save yourself some trouble. These times, roughly, are from 6 a.m. until 8 p.m.

If you get here before 6 or after 8, you'll find spaces much, much easier -- and probably much closer. Remember, though, that these are only estimates. The earlier or later you arrive at campus the better.

What about those days, though, when you just can't get up early enough to be in lot 15D before it fills up at 7 in the morning? Well, keep in mind that not all classes are equally important.

Some can be skipped every now and then, especially if you have a convenient stable of doddering and near-death grandparents. Some can be skipped more frequently, once a week or more for Monday-Wednesday-Friday classes. Some can be skipped just about every day except the tests.

My first semester at UH, I had one class that I went to a total of six times, including the three tests I showed up for. The fact that I failed this class very badly should in no way be construed as a reflection on the accuracy of my system.

However, as we all know by now, there will come days when you can't get here early enough to find parking and can't skip. These are the days that try cougars' souls, the days that live in infamy. The days that really suck.

What is a student to do on those difficult days?

First, whine. Loudly, if possible, so that someone will be able to hear you as far out in the lot as you're likely to be.

Next, step out of the car. Go ahead, try it. Stand up, and look around.

Did you know that those things attached to the bottom of your torso are often referred to as "legs," and can be used to transport you from place to place utilizing a procedure known as "walking"?

It's true -- you may notice some difficulty at first, as, like many Houstonians, your leg muscles are probably slightly atrophied, but years of climbing into an SUV will probably have helped you keep at least some muscle tone.

Once you've practiced a bit, you can "walk" to campus from your cheap-and-abundant-but-not-convenient parking in the great state of Delaware.

When you get a really good at it, you'll find out that the walk can even be enjoyable. Look around; enjoy the many beautiful vistas UH and its environs present you with. There are incomprehensible sculptures, Masonic structures and entertainingly variable weather systems.

Try whistling "It's a Five O'Clock World" and ogling comely lasses. It's fun.

Salnave, a senior creative writing and history major who does not own a parking pass, can be reached at ssalnave@mail.uh.edu.