Opinion

The end of wit provides opportunity for whining

Jim McCormick
Guest Columnist

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages: Step right up, because itis your not-so-lucky day. The editors here at The Daily Cougar have made a gross error in judgment and have decided to run one of my opinion pieces.

Lousy dancing aside, I consider myself an intelligent person (most of the time), even if I am completely off my rocker. Though I have only been here a semester, I already have a few complaints to make. So, letis cut to the chase, shall we?

First and foremost: What is the deal with the lousy furniture in the residence halls? I know itis dorm furniture, but the desk upon which I do most of my work is a pathetic assembly of particleboard that has probably been in that room since Taub Hall was first built. Iive seen other desks across the Quad, and they evince the same lack of quality.

If it werenit for the fact I would be fined for it, Iid take my desk, hurl it out my third-floor window, burn it and then bring in my desk from home. At least my chair is a bit better than the one in my old room.

Iid also like to see the powers that be in E. Cullen devise a system by which students can challenge unfair grading practices.

Nothing major of this sort has happened to me yet, but the fact that I could get As on all my tests, projects, papers, quizzes and other assignments and the professor could still give me an F -- an F I could not challenge -- bothers me. Iim not sure any professor here would do such a thing, but I have heard stories (which are probably urban legends, Iill admit) of such things happening.

Iid like at least a formal and official system by which a student can inquire how a professor arrived at his or her grade, including how the professor came up with the grading scale for the class.

I once heard UH had snipers to rid classes of students whose cellular phones went off in class. I seriously doubt that story, but it did raise a point.

Cellular phones and pagers have no place in the lecture halls. Though I carry a phone on me at all times, because I do not know my new dorm number (or have an answering machine on that phone) and because the photo editors need to be able to reach me at all times, I personally feel cell phones and pagers should stay out of the classroom.

As a bit of courtesy to your fellow students, please either turn off your phone or pager, or at least silence the ringer. After class, you can see if you missed any calls.

Also, please donit smoke in the residence halls. Not only is it against University policy, but it stinks up the entire floor.

A person who was careless with his or her cigarette set off the sprinkler system on the second floor of Bates Hall last semester, much to the chagrin of the students who lived there at the time.

I keep many things in my room that mean a lot to me (though most have no actual value) that would be ruined in such an event, and Iim sure Iim not the only one. And if the leaves in your cigarette are green, at least have the decency to go somewhere else to smoke it.

On the other hand, Iid like to thank J. K. Rowling for giving me something to do this summer. I was planning on doing the same nothing I did last summer until Jan. 15.

Now Iive cleared my calendar for the summer after June 21 to read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at least four times, to allow it to catch up to the number of times Iive read the other books.

If youire thinking that I need to get a life, youire right, but I donit really know if I want to do so. If only I can get one of my friends addicted to the Potter, I will have completed my goals for this semester.

McCormick, a freshman biology major, can be reached at rantman_2000@sbcglobal.net.