Opinion
 

Staff Editorial

Matthew Dulin        Geronimo Rodriguez         Shaun Salnave          Cara Sarelli

V-Day is smurfy

 As many as three saints have had the name Valentine over the years, but there seems to be some agreement that the two most famous -- Valentine of Terni and Valentine of Rome -- are the same person, who was martyred around 269.

 Valentine, bishop of Terni (about 50 miles north of Rome), was whipped, then put in prison and finally beheaded. Romantic, huh?

 If thatis not good enough for you, just think of some of the other things Feb. 14 is associated, like the St. Valentineis Day Massacre in 1929.

 The Massacre, which vaulted Al "Scarface" Capone into national attention, was meant to eliminate rival gangster Bugs Moran. Caponeis minions tricked Moran into meeting with them around 10:30 in the morning. 

 Moran, lucky for him, was late, so when he saw Caponeis minions entering the meeting disguised as police officers, he drove off and they failed to nab him. They did, however, kill all seven of his men. Very romantic.

 So how, exactly, did Valentineis day get to be the holiday it is, celebrated with pink hearts and lace? Is there some link weire missing between gang slayings and greeting cards, between decapitation and professions of love?

 As a matter of fact, there is.
 The Catholic Church, having trouble convincing pagans used to celebrating the Lupercalia lust festival on Feb. 15 that they should all just calm down, decided to make a holiday of its own, about romance. Why they picked Valentineis day, other than its proximity to Lupercalia, is difficult to say, but ultimately unimportant.

 The first written valentine note, though, didnit come until many years later. Itis attributed to Charles, Duke of Orlean, in 1450, who wrote romantic poems to his wife. They became increasingly popular over the years.

 Today, you can get all sorts of preprinted valentines at grocery stores or pharmacies which will save you the trouble of composing original love poetry in medieval French. But with so many options -- professional wrestlers, Martha Stewart, monster trucks, Spongebob Squarepandts -- how do you capture all of VDis unique history in a simple card? Which do you choo-choo-choose to complete the date youive planned with "Last minute tips that will make her swoon" on page 16?

 We recommend the Smurfs: Simple. Classic. Timeless. Blue.

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