Opinion
 

Apathy destroys creativity

by Summer Dawn Gorbea

I don't care about anything. Well, I suppose that's not entirely true. I occasionally find myself getting mildly riled about some political issues, and I care about the various important people in my life, but basically, when it comes to me and my future, I just don't care.

Let me explain a little. I consider myself to be a creative person. I am a creative writing major. But I have absolutely no drive to really do anything. Writing this is the most effort I've put toward my artistic "craft" in months. And I never write anything unless I have to anymore -- I've even stopped writing in my journal.

A few years ago my dream was to become an actress. I went to an arts high school in Los Angeles where I studied theater. Then, around graduation time, I realized that, while I do love acting and everything involved with the theater, I didn't actually have what it takes to go to auditions and to be repeatedly rejected by people who would never even have a chance to get to know me.

It's the same problem with being a writer. In fact, it's the same problem with attempting any type of creative endeavor. Pretty much anything that I think I'd like to do with my life, anything interesting and unconventional that doesn't involve sitting behind a desk and doing unimportant things for an employer that doesn't care about me at all, doing anything worthwhile, I just don't have the guts to do. So, the question I find myself wondering is this: Am I just a gutless wonder or do I just not care? Do I even care if I care? I suppose I must, if I'm writing about it.

Perhaps it's just our generation. We do tend to have the apathy label pasted across our foreheads. However, it doesn't feel right to use that as an excuse. I've talked to many people at this University. Many of them are business majors, optometry majors, people who want to be doctors or lawyers. Everything seems so set for them. Not to say that there isn't a great deal of variety within those majors and professions, but it just seems like it would be easier for me to throw away my creative dreams and just be an accountant or something like that. 

There's little subjectivism with those careers -- you either know how to be an accountant or you don't. On the other hand, there is nothing objective about creative endeavors.

So what is it that I'm trying to say? Should we all just sell our souls and confine ourselves to cubicles? Or should we all just do whatever it is that we find important? 

Maybe that's the answer. Maybe I care just a little bit. 

Or maybe I'll just go to sleep now.

Gorbea, a columnist for The Daily Cougar, 
can be reached at spicypepperpoet@aol.com.