Opinion
 

Californ-i-a getting better every day

Keenan Singleton

There have been times when I wished an earthquake would detach California from the rest of the continental United States. 

I wished that this earthquake would send its moronic citizens -- people who voted in favor of Proposition 187, a piece of anti-immigration legislation, and elected Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor -- to the Pacific Ocean where they, and they alone, can watch that wretched television show, Fox's The OC.

But bad shows and cancer-inducing pollution aside, I think California might no longer be caca. 

According to a report from the Los Angeles Times, Wal-Mart tried to "bypass uncooperative elected officials ... without an environmental review or public hearings," by building a Wal-Mart SuperCenter (a larger version of the store that also sells groceries) in Inglewood. The citizens of the Los Angeles suburb stood up and told America's largest corporation to stay out of its community, which is quite a ballsy feat.

Apparently, Dr. Dre was dead wrong in his duet with Tupac Shakur "California Love," where he claimed, among other things, that "Inglewood was always up to no good." By blocking Wal-Mart's presence in Inglewood, the city of 112,000 is indeed up to some good.

In a statement, Wal-Mart officials said: "It is a shame that a small number of voters have determined that more than 100,000 Inglewood residents will have to leave their community to enjoy the shopping opportunities that others have close to home."

I find it hard to believe that a community that houses the Great Western Forum -- the former home of the National Basketball Association's Los Angeles Lakers and the National Hockey League's Kings -- is straining, you say for a grocery store.

What's wrong with Wal-Mart? It creates jobs. It keeps prices low. And oh, the convenience is just super!

What's wrong with Wal-Mart? 

It is anti-union. It suffocates small businesses. And as a journalist, it's promotes bad grammar (a hyphen between Wal and Mart is not necessary). 

Other communities are attempting to crumble the influence of Wal-Mart. Chicago is. Even in Houston, a Wal-Mart employee is attempting to unionize his location. 

We can't get rid of Wal-Mart and those annoying "smiley-face" commercials, but we can make it shape up or ship out with the rest of California.

Update: Attack of the Babies!

An update to my March 25 column ("Keep Your Babies Out of My Face"): According to a report from The Associated Press, the "Today" sponge is back on the market in Canada. Our friends north of the border are joining the fight to slow procreation. With their help, we are slowly but surely winning the war against babies.

Singleton, a columnist for The Daily Cougar, 
can be reached at k_singleton@yahoo.com.