Sports
 

Pro athletes give names a bad name

I'm Always Write

Keenan Singleton

Ever wonder why you never hit .400 like Ted Williams, or weren't a first-round draft pick in the NFL?

Look no further than the sir that gave you your surname -- your father. Success in sports, especially football, has little to do with genes or the NFL Director of Operations, Gene Washington, and everything to do with your last name. 

There's literally a family of ABC's in Major League Baseball -- the Alous (brothers Felipe, Matty and Jesus and Felipe's son, Moises), the Boones (father Bob and sons Aaron and Bret) and the Cruz's (Jose and Jose Jr.).

In fact, EA Sports should change its catchphrase from "If it's in the game, it's in the game" to "if it's got the name, it's in the game."

Take the name Williams for example. According to the U.S. Census (1990), Williams is the third-most popular last name in the country. 

Williamses are often willing participants in the NFL. In this year's NFL Draft alone, Roy (Texas receiver), Reggie (Washington receiver) and Mike (Southern Cal receiver) are all expected to go early in the first round. 

But stay away from combining the name Jason (or some derivative) and Williams. They succeed initially, but in the end they'll either bleed (Jay, former Chicago Bulls guard, motorcycle accident), plead (Jayson, former New Jersey Nets center, manslaughter trial) or smoke some weed (Jason, Memphis Grizzlies' guard). 

The MLB hasn't been as kind to the Williams' clan either. Bernie, the New York Yankee outfielder, a consistent all-star, has gone rotten, as has Jerome, a pitcher for the San Francisco Giants. Former UH pitcher Woody is also struggling for the St. Louis Cardinals.

If you're a Gonzalez, you can stay in Kansas City, Mo. and excel at both football (the Chiefs' tight end Tony) or baseball (Royals' outfielder Juan). 

In the season opener between the Colorado Rockies and Arizona Diamondbacks, leftfielder Luis Gonzalez and second baseman Luis Gonzalez each homered, making it just the second time in MLB history that two players of the same name went deep in the same game.

There's no reason to Grieve (Ben, outfielder, Milwaukee Brewers) or feel Blue (Vida, former pitcher for Oakland Athletics) if your last name isn't on the back of some professional's jersey.

As for the Singletons out there. There is Chris, an average outfielder and Alshermond, an average linebacker. No wonder I'm an average writer -- it's in the name.

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