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'Devil's music' goes bad with holiness

Christian flavor spoils palatable music

Stay sick

Jason Gagnon

Once rock 'n' roll had exploded on the world, preachers, evangelists and good wholesome God-fearing Christian folk immediately declared it the devil's music. These misguided souls protested shows and radio stations to warn the fragile youth that rock 'n' roll would claim their souls and send them straight to hell.

That was until Christian rock. When did the man upstairs start being OK with rock music? When did people ignore all the signs in front of them and allow this ugly mutation of good music?

It's not that there's anything inherently wrong with Christians themselves (just religion in general), but the music just sucks. Poor songwriting, cheesy production tactics and laughable lyrics plague the genre. Take a listen to DC Talk's "Jesus Freak." There's Stryper, the hair metal band that rocked for Jesus. And no one can forget Creed. These guys sing about their love for Jesus and Christians go nuts. But are listeners down with the "inspirational" and "uplifting" lyrics or actually enjoying such sonic bile?

It's pretty frustrating that just because some geeks sing about God they get instant fame and support while artists with other themes in their work are subjected to more scrutiny. Not every drunk or Irish person likes the Pogues. Some feminists despise Bikini Kill. The whole situation is just baffling.

Now there are even clubs that cater specifically to the genre. They must approve set lists and require the bands to discuss their faith. That's not rock 'n' roll -- it's fascism.

Since time travel has not yet been invented and this music will never be blanked from existence, people who value music for more than cheesy motivational lyrics should mobilize and form a protest of their own.

Imagine a group of disenchanted kids outside the next Creed show with signs that read "Keep God out of rock 'n' roll!" The next logical step is creating an organization that "de-Christianizes" the youth. A similar thing was done to heavy metal fans in the 1980s by overzealous parents and authority figures. But if such a group were to succeed in its goal of purging religion from music, it would be vilified by the entire nation because satirizing Christianity is considered taboo.

Patti Smith said any good rock 'n' roll song can raise you higher than all of Revelations. That points to rock 'n' roll as a pseudo-religion. 

So why do we need a mingling of the two? Wouldn't it be better to let Christian artists stick with gospel music and let the rockers cleanse their own churches of such propaganda?

Think of it this way: rock 'n' roll music has always been about rebellion and getting a little crazy. Where in the Bible isrebellion supported or praised? To paraphrase Motorhead's Lemmy Kilmeister, a sign of good rock 'n' roll is that parents hate it.

Does that make Christian rock good if people with taste hate the fact that their kids dig it? Of course not -- Christianity will never have a place in rock 'n' roll.

Gagnon writes a weekly column about all things sick. Send comments to dcshobiz@mail.uh.edu.