Opinion
 

Jacksons halftime 'exposure' no accident

By John Seaborn Gray

Oh, MTV. You're such a canny, savvy corporate monster. You engineer publicity with the utmost aplomb. At the 2003 Video Music Awards, you had Madonna and Britney Spears kiss. Add to that the humiliated reaction shot of Justin Timberlake, Spears' ex-boyfriend, and you've got the continuation of an ongoing feud, which is always darn good TV.

And what better way to ease his humiliation than by scheduling him for a surprise appearance during the halftime show at this year's Super Bowl, where he would appear to expose the breast of pop icon Janet Jackson.

MTV claims it wasn't part of the act, CBS claims it knew nothing about it and Timberlake called it, hilariously, a "wardrobe malfunction." That flimsy, tear-away top didn't malfunction at all; it did exactly what it was supposed to. And I have gathered several pieces of quality evidence which prove that the Super Bowl halftime debacle was as rigged as the 2000 election. 

Exhibit A: The Breast in Question -- News reports would have you believe Jackson's right breast popped out in all its bare glory. This is not so. Every single photograph and tape recording of the event reveals Jackson's nipple was, in fact, tastefully covered by a sort of piercing. Your friends who are swearing up and down that they saw Janet Jackson's bare breast are mistaken or lying. What we had here wasn't, in fact, a flashing at all. It was simply artful misdirection from MTV.

Exhibit B: The Nature of Reporting -- All over the media, especially CBS and MTV, newscasters have been referring to the event without any mention whatsoever of the piercing. To achieve maximum publicity they are simply reporting the incident as if Jackson flashed her naked breast. This isn't true. You can trust me; in the interest of journalistic thoroughness I have taken the liberty of going over the tape several dozen times. 

Exhibit C: Who was Involved --Timberlake had to do something to regain his manhood after Spears' cuckolding of the VMAs. As for Jackson, she has an album coming out soon. I'll leave you to put two and two together on that point. 

Exhibit D: Foreshadowing -- Several MTV executives, when asked what was going to happen at their halftime show, alluded to something "surprising" and "shocking." The tone and inflection of the reports made it very clear that they were planning to do something that would cause trouble. 

Exhibit E: The Event Itself -- The song and dance was well choreographed. At the end, Jackson stood ready and waiting for Timberlake to reach over and do his thing. Did you notice how easily the costume ripped? Normally, dancers' costumes are designed to be sturdy. But Jackson's right breast panel ripped away with total ease. Right on cue, as Timberlake sang "Gonna have you naked by the end of this song." And you'll notice she waited to make sure the cameras got it before she pretended to cover up. 

Don't believe the hype folks; this was a non-event ballooned into something big by a media too story-hungry and sensationalist to simply quash the hysteria. Jackson did not get naked. It was simply another example of what MTV and the mainstream news media are best at: teasing. 

Seaborn Gray, an editorial writer for The Daily Cougar,
can be reached via ddcampus@mail.uh.edu.