Arts & Entertainment
 

Hipsters need to learn real garage

Kids today ignore yesterday's real innovation, support music's obvious fakes

Stay Sick

Jason Gagnon

"Nothing really goes out of style/ See it only goes away for a little while."

Black Halos, "Retro World"

Billy Hopeless' lyrics couldn't be more truthful considering the current hipster fad known as "garage rock." Hacks like the Strokes and Jet have spent more money on fake vintage clothing and album production than actually writing good songs. It's even more ironic that bands are using technology like Pro Tools to sound raw. Either listen to Little Stephen's Underground Garage on Sunday nights or read on to get hip to some good and true garage rock.

The Mummies

The undisputed kings of the lo-fi revolution formed in 1988 and played out of beat-up, cheap pawn shop equipment from the 1960s. With an affinity for surf and garage sounds from the genre's golden age, the Mummies did it louder, cruder and with more attitude than anyone before or after. Noisy, brutal renditions of classics like "Justine" and the Wailer's (not Bob Marley's backing band) "Out of Our Tree" peppered the group's vinyl only releases (you could find a profane two word message about CDs on the back of their records). Some of their original songs had tongue in cheek humor like "Planet of the Apes," and others were blissfully obnoxious like "Shut Yer Mouth." Knowing how to properly incorporate an organ into rock 'n' roll, the Mummies occasionally treated listeners to some great, creepy instrumental tracks like "House on the Hill" and the anthem "Food, Sickles and Girls." The band broke up before most of its due acclaim arrived and have actually allowed a CD release of their record Never Been Caught. You should sell your Strokes CD to buy it. 

The Makers

Arguably one of the sleaziest bands to ever come out of Seattle, the Makers assaulted the world with their snotty garage punk sound in 1991. After touring in a 1965 hearse, the band got label support and eventually released an eponymous-influenced titled third album that's bare bones rock 'n' roll. Three chords (sometimes fewer), sneering vocals and songs about sex, drugs and supergirls were the crux of the group's earlier material. Songs like "Fair Game" and "Tear Your World Apart" from the album Hunger highlight the Makers' end of their garage rock career since their next album, the glammed up Psychopathia Sexualis. No one understands what the hell the Makers are doing now musically. It's like they took some really good psychedelic drugs and never came down.

Teengenerate

One of the greatest rock 'n' roll bands to ever come out of Japan offered the world a version of garage rock on methamphetamine that was accepted with open arms. Their records are noisy and capture the group's passion for rock music that is absent in most of today's bands. Their covers of "Shake a Tail Feather" and the Nervous Eaters' "Just Head" pay loving tribute to fun, high-energy rock 'n' roll. Their earlier albums Get Action! and Savage are a little hard to come by, but you should have no trouble locating their singles collection Smash Hits (which sadly doesn't include their incredible "My GTO"). Songs like "Wild Weekend," "She's a Dumb" and "Get Me Back" are some of the best tracks on the record. Unfortunately, the band is no more. But songwriter Fink is still active in other random projects. It's okay though; Guitar Wolf is still making the world safe for rock 'n' roll. 

Gagnon writes a weekly column on all things sick. 
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