Opinion
 

Focus on big issues, not grudges

by Timmy Le

I remember about two years ago, there was a girl that liked me and asked me to hang out one night. I told her I was busy, and instead of taking it nicely, she yelled at me and said that I didn't like her. That was the last time I spoke to her. Up until a few months ago, every time I would run into her, I would associate her name with the word psycho and hold it against her.

Anyone who knows me knows that I hold grudges for everything. It's one of my worst qualities. I would never forgive nor would I forget anything bad anyone did to me. It finally took a few words of inspiration from a few friends and a few movies to realize that grudges do nothing but put excess stress on you and make you cynical. 

I had a best friend that was a guy. I can truly say that I loved the guy. He watched out for me like a brother. We were best friends for quite sometime until a girl entered our lives. I became strongly attracted to this person and fell into her trap. To make a long story short, this girl was wrong for me, and I never bothered to listen to my friends. I had even begun to pick her over my friends. We got into an argument about my behavior, and I hated everything he told me that day. 

I became enraged and never wanted to speak to him again. I told him that he could forget I existed, because he was not a true friend. It is true what they say: People do stupid things when they are in awe of another person. We did not speak for a good nine months because I hated him. Every time I thought of him, I wanted to strangle him for what he had told me. I held the biggest grudge, but deep down, I missed being his friend. I don't even speak to that girl now. One crush cost me the friendship with my best friend. 

I thought about my relationship with both of them, and realized this girl and I would have never worked out. Not only was he right, but I should have listened to him. It was time to stop being so hard-headed and admit guilt. I had to stop blaming everything on everyone, and admit that sometimes I was at fault as well. I finally apologized to him, and luckily he accepted it and we rekindled our friendship. It was good to be friends with him again. The nine-month period where I hated him was pointless. Not only did I waste my time being this bitter, jaded guy, but also I let it happen over something completely stupid.

Grudges are never the answer. If you are going to be mad about something, let it be over something that really matters. What was the point of me holding a grudge over this crazed girl that liked me? What was the point of letting a girl ruin a great friendship that I had with my best friend? There was no point. You have to learn to let go of the small things and worry about the bigger things that count, like family and school. 

I truly regret not talking to him for nine months, because we missed a lot of good times we could have had. Life is too short to let petty things ruin it. I hope my story has inspired you to let go of petty grudges. So as an end to this column, I leave you with a line from a Beatles song called "We Can Work It Out": "Life is very short and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend."

Le, a columnist for The Daily Cougar, 
can be reached at timbo301@yahoo.com.