Arts & Entertainment
 

Films cost more than they merit

Money that could be spent on acting, directing wasted in production 
of flops

By Geronimo Rodriguez
The Daily Cougar

All you have to do to find out what's wrong with films these days is look at the bottom line.

Forget about plot, acting, directing, cinematography and any other aspect of filmmaking. Let's examine just how much money the industry wastes on bad movies.

It cost Eurotrip filmmakers $20 million to deliver what seems to be leftovers from a handful of wretched teen flicks. Some of that money went to hiring first-time director Jeff Schaffer, who was once a writer for the TV show Herman's Head. It's no wonder that every guy with a video-store card thinks he can direct.

Another chunk of that money went to Matt Damon, who stars in the comedy set in Europe. Will we get a cameo much like Ben Affleck's appearance in Boiler Room, or will the talented Damon take the time to bounce off a couple of newcomers?

The movie is about a guy who travels to Europe to meet his pen pal. Sounds like You've Got Mail meets American Pie. It could be worse, like You've Got Mail or American Pie.

What's Meg Ryan been up to anyway? Oh yeah, she scrapped that wholesome image to portray a high-heel wearing boxing manager in Against the Ropes.

This budget isn't available, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out Ryan costs several million dollars. The producers might have saved some money by not marketing the film, but hey, it's inspired by a true story -- that's Hollywood gold.

It's about Jackie Kallen, who managed James "Lights Out" Toney, Tommy ‘The Hitman" Hearns and others. Unless Ryan and Omar Epps are packing a one-two punch, Against the Ropes will end up like Mike Tyson -- ugly and bankrupt.

Welcome to Mooseport, the latest Gene Hackman vehicle, cost somewhere between $25 and $30 million, Yahoo Movies reported. Hackman's salary was well-spent money, but Ray Romano, who also stars, should stick to getting whipped by his TV wife in Everybody Loves Raymond.

The movie butts Hackman's character up against Romano's, both of whom square off in a mayoral race in Mooseport. Interesting, but not $20 to $30 million kind of interesting.

The comedy also stars Marcia Gay Harden, Maura Tierney, Christine Baranski and Fred Savage -- ka-ching.

Someone should pay those in charge of Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen to throw away the reels they're about to distribute around the country. Why even flirt with the idea of bringing back those pop-induced flicks? Do we need more than On the Line and Crossroads to realize this genre is as dead as Britney Spears' career?

It stars Lindsay Lohan, whose character has trouble adjusting to life after moving to the suburbs. Believe it or not, the movie is based on a book. 

The bottom line is, the movies aren't worth the millions they chew up, and filmgoers deserve better -- at least their $7.50 worth.

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