Hi 67 / Lo 55
|
Hi 67 / Lo 55 |
Student Publications
©1991-2007
Last modified:
Contact:
|
Volume 70, Issue 102,
Tuesday, March 1, 2005
Life & Arts Many games based on '80s flicks were flops My 8 bits Jason Poland If you ever happen to find yourself in Alamogordo, N.M., there's a chance you could be standing on the spot where Atari buried 5 million unsold E.T. game cartridges in September 1983. Hoping to inflate its yearend earnings, Atari signed a licensing deal with Steven Spielberg to produce a video game version of his blockbuster hit and programmers rushed the game out just in time for Christmas. The end product was unsatisfactory, to say the least -- distributors returned the cartridges by the truckload. The game was so awful it couldn't be sold at any price, and a mass burial of the surplus cartridges was Atari's only option for getting rid of them. No Nintendo game based on a feature film bombed on the same epic scale of E.T., but there were plenty of NES titles released intended to cash in on the blockbusters of the 1980s. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? This game evokes exactly the opposite feelings I had while watching the film. As Eddie Valiant, private eye, you and Roger Rabbit spend hours tediously searching for clues in every drawer and wastebasket in Hollywood. Once you find out that you can repeatedly punch Roger in the head instead of clue sleuthing, the game becomes less of a chore. Valiant's drinking problem always did get in the way of his work. Friday the 13th The only thing scary about this game is if you catch yourself playing it for more than 20 minutes. Much like the campers in the film, you spend most of your time wandering around Crystal Lake waiting to be killed by Jason. Although a good adaptation in this respect, what's lacking are the over-sexed make-out sessions in the woods that end in a fatal machete-chopping spree. Horny teenagers just rubbed Jason the wrong way. The Goonies II Konami stretched their creative license to the limit in this would-be sequel. Instead of finding pirate treasure, the Goonies now have to save Annie the mermaid from the Fratelli gang. There are certainly enough tunnels to navigate, but no booby traps, and sadly, Chunk's "Truffle Shuffle" isn't featured as a special move. If it's any consolation, Cyndi Lauper's The Goonies R Good Enough is part of the game's theme song. Back to the Future After you turn off your NES, you'll wish you had a Delorean to travel into the past to stop yourself from playing this game. Most of it is spent running down the street avoiding killer bees and throwing bowling balls at girls with hula-hoops. Where is the interactive scene in which you help Marty McFly avoid sexual advances from his teenage mom? The Freudian undertones were entirely lost in this 8-bit translation. Not many films can make the leap from the silver
screen to the home console intact. But if you have a jackhammer while in
Alamogordo, you might be able to salvage an E.T. cartridge from under the
concrete slab that covers the video graveyard. If only Atari had held out
for when mediocrity became ironic they could've sold the whole 5 million
to Urban Outfitters for double the original price.
Send comments to dcshobiz@mail.uh.edu |
To contact the
To contact other members
of
 |