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Volume 70, Issue 155, Thursday, July 14, 2005

Life & Arts

'Kong' brings out beast in Mario

My 8 Bits

Jason Poland

We're all familiar with Mario's daring adventures atop construction site scaffolding rescuing Daisy from the hairy ape mitts of that oddly-named primate Donkey Kong. Who could forget the way Mario wields that hammer like Thor on a beserker sugar high? 

Donkey Kong was the first game to introduce Mario to the gaming world and his heroic résumé has been growing bit by 8 bit ever since. Mario's mustachioed face is the most recognized in the video game world and his benevolent influence is known far and wide. Think if Ghandi chose to be a plumber. 

I'm sure you performed a version of Donkey Kong: The One Act Drama for your fifth grade talent show, too. Thanks to my natural talent for acting (and the fact I was a little chubster) my portrayal of Mario was met with a standing ovation. But after playing Donkey Kong Junior I felt ashamed for ever pasting a mustache made of shag carpet on my upper lip. We root for underdog Mario as his little overalled behind shimmies up ladders and leaps over barrels in Donkey Kong, but when he has caged his former rival and laid traps for Kong's chimpy son, we can't help but see Mario as a vengeful tyrant in Donkey Kong Junior.

This is the one blemish on Mario's good-doer record (unless you count all of the pills he pushed in Dr. Mario) so Donkey Kong must've really rubbed him the wrong way for Mario to hold such a grudge. I suppose getting rubbed any way by a giant gorilla would be the wrong way. Where Donkey Kong once stood beating his chest and rolling barrels, Mario now stands cracking his whip and letting loose baby Kong-biting traps. The power roles have reversed.

It's understandable for Mario to feel resentment toward his shaggy adversary, but to use him as bait to trap Kong Junior is just cruel. Does Mario worry Junior will avenge his father's defeat in some simian parallel of Hamlet? Now that would be a rousing one-act. 

Donkey Kong, being Mario's first appearance and his first video game victory, puts him on a precarious pedestal. With only one achievement under his belt, his career could soar or sour. Daisy isn't even a princess, and although her rescue probably made the front page and a few subsequent human-interest stories, many critics could easily peg Mario as a one-hit wonder. Yet to venture into the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario still tightens bolts and flanges to pay the rent for his dimly lit efficiency and is starving for more acknowledgements. 

Frantic to keep a death grip on his aspirations, he's willing to try anything to maintain his newfound fame-- even the trapping and killing of a cuddly baby gorilla. The bittersweet taste of success can drive a plumber to desperate measures.

After four levels of animal cruelty, Junior eventually succeeds in unlocking his father's cage and sends him crashing to the ground, landing him in the same position Donkey Kong held in their first encounter. The fall has him seeing stars, in addition to the error of his ways.

Fortunately, Mario's hubris is the only thing that's broken and he avoids further allegations from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
 

Send comments to dcshobiz@mail.uh.edu

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