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Opinion

Roaches, coffee have what in common?

Christian Ochoa
Opinion Columnist 

Back when Y2K dominated the evening news broadcasts, and every Baptist preacher talked about it in his sermon, everyone in the world believed that the end of the days was fast approaching. 

Stocking up on supplies ? water, batteries and Spam were necessary ? and desperate last prayers to God were made by the overzealous and those fearful of the future, or lack thereof as the case may be. Jan. 1, 2000 came and went, and there was no fiery Apocalypse in New York City and Dick Clark continued to walk the earth. Why would the world end on New York standard time, anyway?

Images of the Apocalypse always include the final battle between good and evil, in which good will triumph and letting there be peace on earth. In my opinion, the end of days will not only include fiery brimstone, but something so evil in its subtle nature that everyone seems to enjoy: Starbucks coffee. 

Some academic types, notably Bryant Simon, a history professor at Philadelphia's Temple University, are studying the cultural impact that the Seattle-based coffee joint has had on our "modern life amid the round tables" of Starbucks and seek to "learn what it means to live and consume in the age of globalization."

I'm not a die-hard fan of Starbucks coffee, but I do enjoy a tall, white chocolate drink with Soy milk every once in a while ? and yes, I am one of those jerks that orders the complicated drinks with all the bells and whistles. Even though Starbucks can satisfy my urge for chocolate and caffeine all in one drink, the coffee franchise has gone too far to help others in my situation. 

There are far too many Starbucks in this world. The franchise seems to be looming on domination of the beverage market as it plans to add 1,800 new locations to the 11,000 already in existence in 37 countries around the world.

Here in Houston's River Oaks area, the so-called "edge of the universe" (coined by comedian Lewis Black) is located on West Gray Street. Two ? yes, count them, two ? Starbucks are across the street from each other. On opposites sides of the street, pilgrims of the coffee franchise can visit two Starbucks by just crossing rushing traffic.

Sure, many might believe that Starbucks is only evil in its nature, but these coffee shops offer some good, especially for the college student. These shops are a great place to study, and the constant source of caffeine for those late nights only sweetens the deal. 

Starbucks can also serve as the setting for the first date for every pre-teen in America, and it's public place to take, if necessary, a creepy guy or girl. And in the end, it's just a good spot to catch up with old high school friends and have a good time. 

Granted, you can get all of these things at an indie coffee shop in Montrose (Agora and Brasil comes to mind), but sometimes, you just have to get away from the hipsters and the $10 chocolate mousse cake that is half the size of your fist.

Love it or loath it, Starbucks is here to stay. Perhaps, like the cockroaches that plague our homes, Starbucks might even survive a nuclear holocaust. And if Starbucks is somehow involved with the end of days, at least I'll have my drink and be ready to meet my maker. 

Ochoa, an opinion columnist for The Daily Cougar, 
can be reached at thecochoa@gmail.com.