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Opinion
 

Staff Editorial

                Chris Elliott                        Zach Lee                  Christian Palmer
                Geronimo Rodriguez       Blake Whitaker       Kristen Young

Report Card unleashes wrath on some junk

Jeff Skilling’s potty mouth: A+

Finally, something worthwhile is coming out of this guy’s mouth. Prosecutors played a tape Thursday from a 2001 call between former Enron executive Jeff Skilling and a Wall Street analyst. The analyst questioned why Skilling couldn’t provide standard documentation to go with earning reports. Skilling replied: "Thank you very much, we appreciate it, asshole." Sounds like this mofo’s been spending too much time with Gov. Rick Perry.

Sure, Skilling and Co. likely hurt countless employees. Their company basically held a fire-ravaged California ransom for financial gain. But at least we can open the paper and laugh about some naughty words that are sure to embarrass a few white-collar criminals. Next up: A parade of broke former Enron employees is told, "Show me on the doll where Ken Lay ----ed you." 

Here’s to 25 to life in Club Fed for the Enron boys.

Increased diversity: A

The University reported this week that enrollment at UH is becoming more and more diverse. Diversity has always been part of UH’s appeal. It may seem normal to us, but if you take a trip to one of the many public colleges in Texas, you’ll see why UH’s cultural mélange is so important to its identity. If the University maintains that diversity while continuing to recruit increasingly elite freshmen, we’ll enjoy a status that will be shared by few other institutions in this country.

The increase in diversity means UH might finally move out of that first-place tie with Rutgers for most diverse college in America. 

Take that, New Jersey.Tropical heat wave: F

Experts at the World Meteorological Organization in Geneva, Switzerland, say 2005 may have been the warmest year for the planet since the statistic was first recorded in the early 1800s. Meanwhile, sea ice is at an all-time low and hurricanes are running willy-nilly (yeah, we said it) all over our junk. 

Climate change can be caused by natural variations and man-made factors, and the two are hard to distinguish between when it comes to explaining weather patterns. But one thing we all can agree on is that this is no fun. We respectfully request that you all stop infuriating God so much.