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Sports

Imaginary readers get a Q-and-A

Silent Assassin

Ronnie Turner

I thought that for today's special edition of the Silent Assassin, I would open up the mailbag from my faithful readers and respond to their e-mails. Of course, since I never receive any actual e-mails from my readers, I've decided to make them up. 

Imaginary Reader (IR) No. 1: Hey, you said that the Texans will draft Reggie Bush over Vince Young, so you must not be a true Texan. Also, why did you say the Texans should draft neither and trade that pick?

SA: Oh my God, when will we ever get off of this? Neither of them are what the Texans really need right now. They need a big, physical, tough guy up front in the trenches. That guy is DeBrickashaw Ferguson from West Virginia. This guy fits all of the above, and with him manning the offensive line at left tackle, quarterback David Carr will save a ton of money off back massages.

IR No. 2: Who is the UH men's basketball MVP at this point in the season? Also what is the team's biggest weakness?

SA: The guy you speak of is Ramon Dyer. On a team with no real one standout player, Dyer is one of the key cogs that gets the ball rolling. A forward with the skills to stroke mid-to-long range jumpers who can also rebound and block shots, Dyer can make his presence felt on both offense and defense. And as for your second question, the Cougars are a horrible free throw team (62.6 percent as a team). They're like the San Antonio Spurs in that category; they look bad doing it. 

IR No. 3: Do you think Jeff Bagwell should retire?

SA: I think the Astros should allow Bagwell, a cornerstone of their franchise for the last 15 years, at least the chance to prove himself in spring training without all the harassment. After all, it's only fair considering all the accommodations they gave Roger Clemens, and he was only an Astro for two seasons.

IR No. 4: I don't hear much talk about the UH women's basketball team these days. How are they doing?

SA: Last time I checked, the Cougars were 9-11 overall with a 6-3 conference mark, and coming off a 75-62 victory over Rice on Friday, giving them the series sweep between the two schools. That record puts them in a tie for third place in Conference USA with SMU. In other words, they're doing just fine, but they could be better.

Unfortunately, that's all I have for today. Be sure to catch me when I speak again at my regular slot on Friday. 

ts to dcsports@mail.uh.edu