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Volume 71, Issue 94,
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Life & Arts Rockers, movies make for odd mix Stay Sick Jason Gagnon People are never happy with their success as musicians. It's an unfortunate truth we see everyday with the constant barrage of rockers, rappers, country stars and the occasional crooners trying to extend their talents to the art of acting. Sure it can be pretty amusing and some of these people ain't too bad, but I guarantee they won't be interviewed by James Lipton in this lifetime. What I find the most entertaining out of the whole pack are the old punk rockers from the 1970s and '80s who've taken a stab at the silver screen. On that note, get ready for the greatest cinematic performances of all time from punk rock actors.Lee Ving of Fear in Flashdance I could've chosen the composer of the romantic ballad "Beef Bologna" for his work as Mr. Body in Clue but … Flashdance? Lee Ving playing a sleazy 1980s club owner desperately trying to get into Jennifer Beals' character's leotard is both funny and weird. After all, Ving insulted a Saturday Night Live audience for about five minutes (John Belushi got them on the show) before exploding into a rock 'n' roll riot with loads of kids slamming into one another and stage-diving. He then proceeded to viciously trash President Reagan and his supporters to a barrage of boos and played "Let's Have a War." All of those cool points instantly vanished because of Flashdance.John Doe of X in Road House It's funny a skimpy porn-stash was all it took to make X frontman John Doe look like a total sleazebag in mullet-fu opus Road House. He played the bartender who got kicked the hell out of a window via a Patrick Swayze round-house and later would morbidly thrust his pelvis while firing off a shotgun. Still, as horrible as his participation in the project was, it cannot diminish the awesome genius of "Adult Books" or "The World's a Mess it's in my Kiss."David Johansen of the New York Dolls in Scrooged I struggled with this choice. Davie Jo has been in loads of stuff and it was hard to decide to include his turn as the ghost cabby in Scrooged or when he got shanked by Nazis on an episode of Oz. The scariest part about the the artist formerly known as Buster Poindexter as the demented cab driver in the holiday flick was he looked much less scary in that makeup than he did when he was all tarted up in the Dolls.Wendy O. Williams of the Plasmatics in a porn film OK, Wendy was a truly remarkable front woman whether
she was belting out songs about maggots, smashing TVs and buses or being
the only chick to ever look sexy with a 2-foot mohawk. Her career took
a dark turn toward the end of her life (she committed suicide) but we can
all get a giggle out of this underground classic. Do you remember that
joke in the South Park movie about Winona Ryder's "ping-pong" trick? Yeah,
Wendy does it for real.
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