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Opinion

Former friends deserve a personal goodbye

Santiago Lopez 
Opinion Columnist

The Greek philosopher Aristotle once wrote, "Without friends, no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods." This is certainly true today in a world full of uncertainties where a single event can change a person's life in a flash. Though one's material possessions can be wiped out, one can still turn to friends for support.

Friends will always have plenty of tissue to wipe tears and will offer their shoulders to cry on. They'll hold your hair back when you've got your face pointed toward a toilet, and they will be the first ones to offer their hand when you have fallen.

Friendship is not only about the bad, though. Your friends will slap you on your back when you've done a good job and they'll be the ones clapping and screaming the loudest for you on the sideline of whatever event you participate in. They'll also be the first to bring you down to Earth when you let your head (and ego) go too far into the clouds.

But friendship is not all about taking. There has to be reciprocity in the relationship or else it becomes parasitic.

Still, should the time come to end the friendship -- a decision made by either party involved -- much can be done to end the bond. Sitting a friend down and telling him or her why you can no longer be friends is the most civil way to end a friendship. It's much too easy in this electronic age to send a text message or e-mail, or even delete a person from one's friends list on MySpace. If you have been through a struggle and gotten through it thanks to a friend, and at some point you decide you no longer wish to remain associated with that person, a face-to-face meeting is in order. In this way, at least an appreciation for the person's efforts in camaraderie can be shown. 

In an ideal world this would be the case, but in our fast-paced, egocentric time we tend to forget about personal feelings and rely on the protection of faceless communication as a way to deal with any matter that might be the least bit uncomfortable for us. But by doing this we lose sight of the person on the receiving end of our bridge-burning who, as a one-time friend, deserves the compassion and care of a live heart-to-heart.

In doing this, you'll feel better, and they might, too. If not, at the most he or she will be hurt but also appreciative of how you valued the friendship enough to tell him or her in person that you are moving on. 

Lopez, a creative writing senior, 
can be reached via dccampus@mail.uh.edu