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Opinion

It's obviously that time of year again

Christian Ochoa
Opinion Columnist

Dear Love Birds, 

Your holy day has finally arrived, and it couldn't have come any sooner. 

For about two weeks now, you have plagued the campus with copious amounts of public displays of affection. Don't get me wrong: I enjoy kissing -- seriously, I do. But seeing you joined at the lips, and the overexposure that I've seen walking to class has been too much.

I'm not usually a violent person -- my style is more of a crafty mischief -- but hearing lips smacking and saliva being vacuumed out of someone's poor mouth makes me daydream of you falling down the stairs in front of the University Center Satellite. 

It doesn't matter if I come across as another jaded creative writing student -- consideration of your peers should be kept in mind. There is no need for students to be distracted in their history classes by the sounds of someone's soul being sucked out in the back of the auditorium, or seeing a hand navigate the curves of someone's body during lunch time. It's not only gross; it's kind of weird. 

But besides making people's skin crawl, you affectionate fools remind poor saps that they're unloved on this day. Sure, they probably remember that same fact when they're eating soup for one, or renting You've Got Mail on a Friday night; but it's a sad reality that some people just don't want to confront on this particular date. What's worse, though, is when you remind hopeless romantics who have been hurt by certain individuals that their company isn't preferred. Not only are you nasty, but you're mean, too. 

What irks me the most -- almost as much as poor saps with their black roses referring to Valentine's Day as Single Awareness Day -- is the fact that you have romanticized this day to such a level that very few can take pleasure in it. 

It seems that each year is just competition to out-do yourself in showing how much you love your sweetheart. One year could be rose petals covering your lover's desk, a locket or maybe even a large, edible bunny: These same stunts won't do the trick come next year. Each year is just a competition to find the next biggest gift that will give someone pleasure.

Save the affection for when you're alone in your parents' bed, or in a seedy bathroom stall. That's what normal people do.

Besides, it's not a requirement to show your true feelings to someone on one specific day. The same goes for giving someone a special gift, or partaking of sweet liquors or gorging on a delectable bird. The only important date this week is Thursday: Chocolate is half-price. 

Ochoa, a creative writing junior, 
can be reached via dccampus@mail.uh.edu